Beef, beef and more beef at MASH London

Beef, beef and more beef! We can’t get enough of it at the moment, with steakhouses, burger joints, chicken shacks and BBQ’s all ingratiating themselves onto our eating out guides, bringing us meat from Argentina, Uruguay, New Zealand, America, Scotland and Scandinavia among others. We drink red wine with fine steaks at the likes of Hawksmoor, 34, and Gaucho, but we also spend hours collectively queuing for root beer and burgers at the plethora of pop ups and no-bookings hotspots including MEATmarket / MEATmission / MEATliquor, Honest Burgers, Hache, Patty & Bun, and Dirty Burger etc. We all seem to be going gaga for cow on a plate and for this, I am eternally grateful. 

Uruguay Fillet 200g - £30 

MASH still feels relatively new to this cavernous basement space in Soho, but having opened in 2012, it’s definitely overcome any growing pains it may have feared! It’s a beautifully masculine dining room and bar, with low lighting, dark wood and brass trimmings, a sea of cosy booths and a vibe that would be equally befitting of a business dinner as it would a date or catch up with friends; it attracts celebs, sports folk, and regular folk like me by equal measure, and it’s luxurious without being inaccessible. Rarely does such a place straddle such a myriad of social gatherings or clientele, but here we have it…I don’t know what else to say about the matter really! 

You can be modest or you can go wild with your steak, with a menu ranging from £25 for a standard steak & chips to £75 for a 200g American grade 9+ sirloin from Grand Omaha. Be aware though, you are ordering simply steak (nothing else but a plate of steak), so if you want sauces, sides and/or salads, you must order separately for an extra £4.50 per dish (each portion is big enough to share between two, so there’s no need to go overboard). My Uruguay Fillet (£30 for 200g) was tender, cooked exactly to order (medium rare incase you were wondering!), succulent and flavoursome. The Béarnaise was precisely what it needed to be, the chips crispy and well-seasoned; the creamed spinach was rich and bone marrow sympathetically cooked to bring out the best beefy flavours (I spread mine on like a flavoured butter!). 

Service was also precise, friendly, welcoming, knowledgeable and efficient, which is immensely pleasing in such a large restaurant that, as I’m sure you can appreciate, gets rather busy. I got lucky with a 50% discount from all food (promotion for those of you who can find a friend with a birthday in November), but without this, I suspect this would not have been a cheap meal, even without the wine! Starters are all under £10 (unless you opt for the ½ lobster!), and the steak is offered at whatever you’re willing to pay for it. It’s worth it, but be prepared to spend a bare minimum of £50 - £70 per person for a 3-course meal, with a glass of wine. If you love good steak, there’s not too much to moan about here. 

 Meat, meat, oh glorious meat! 

Thank you and goodnight.

 

Guns n Roses: Cherry wine, rosemary & lavender syrup, Californian sparkling wine - £11.50

Chinese Rules! Cheaply does it...

We all love a good Chinese dinner, but with the plethora of all-you-can-eat buffets popping up everywhere, who can blame you for feeling somewhat bamboozled and spoilt for choice, and not in a good way? Especially when you’re in Chinatown – London’s very own microcosm of oriental eateries, dim sum parlours and tea houses?! 

You can get Michelin star standard Chinese food and top quality fusion menus about town, but if you search heard enough and down the right alleyways, you may also find the best chow mein you've ever eaten.  The latter may lack finesse and the finest ingredients, but frankly the flavour is all that matters when all you want is a vat of Szechuan King Prawn or wheelbarrow of Sesame Prawn Toast?! Like a humble British pie or roast dinner, a cracking Chinese meal is something that, for me, needs to be plentiful, flavourful and entirely fuss free! Dim sum however, is a niche and should be none of those things; it’s a mouthwatering talent (if you get it right), a precision art and a carefully considered delicate thing. Find a good dim sum chef and you’ll never look back. Imperial China may not give you the latter, but it definitely serves up the former and I’ll tell you why I liked it thusly…

Greeted by a miniature fish pond beneath an unexpectedly delightful bridge and a pergola, laden with hanging lanterns, red dragons and twinkle lights, I can’t help but to fall in love already...and I haven't even entered yet! I find myself wishing that instead of being a restaurant tucked away in this yard, there would be a tranquil blossoming garden with a midget playing a banjo on an oversized swing (yes, this is a surreal image, but then so is this entirely welcoming scene!). With a thriving karaoke scene inside, perhaps this vision isn't too far fetched afterall though!

Located in the middle of an urban jungle, Imperial China is tucked down the lesser trodden Lisle Street, in-between the audaciously bedazzled Chinatown highstreet and the ghoulish Leicester Square. Lest I digress, I could easily now dive face first into a debate about tourist vs. real eating in London - I shall resist the urge to rant, but please indulge me one things: Leicester Square may be the epicentre of activity and you may even spot the odd celebrity-infused movie premiere from time to time, but by no means is it an accurate barometer from which to gauge London life…you must search beyond the bright lights and big brand [mediocre] eateries because in scouring the side streets, cobbled alleyways and basements, you will find locals basking in the enchanting wonderland that lies behind the touristic façade. Why gorge on a TGI Fridays, ASK, Bella Pasta and the suchlike when you can find one-off specials around every corner that you’d never get at home?!

Getting back to the point then. Once you’re over the mystifying first impressions, you walk into a rather standard Chinese restaurant; all very welcoming and comfortable, but nothing too earth-shattering. Service is efficient, clean, polite and precise, though all a bit transactional and impersonal. The beer is crisp, cold and satisfying, and the Jasmine tea is soothing, but it's not the largest selection of either I've ever seen. Conversely, while the dim sum may not be worthy of China Tang, the platter was only £8.50 for 8 pieces and I could not have been more happy with it (so much so, I went back three times within 2 weeks to indulge!). The Beef Ho Fun was a perfect plate of starch with a generous portion of meat, and the crispy Shredded Beef hit the spot, leaving me wanting more...and more...and more! I could go on, but that would be immensely dull of me. 

Overall, it was good and nice and tasty and oh so filling, but it was not breath-taking and special or exceptional and refined. It was just very good and very nice, nothing more and nothing less. It’s also cheap as chips, so why not get involved?! I urge you to try it, even if for no other reason than to imagine that banjo playing midget singing Living on a Prayer in one of the karaoke suites!